but it isn’t

i just love to watch the tears
splatter on the bed
and how the white turns gray
i know i’m seeing black

i’ll smile and say
it’s all okay
i’ll laugh and shout
that i’m allright

i’ll fill my pen with blood
and write untill all’s gone
read the words that make me want
to cut myself again

i’ll write you one last poem
once more i’ll spill my guts
you’ll say i have a fine fist
and then you’ll go to bed

i’ll smile and say
it’s all okay
but it isn’t and you
have gone to bed

i wonder if in the morning
you’ll notice that i’m not here
or has someone else already
unnoticedly taken my place?

Gabriel